Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i think i just lost a toe
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
