Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
tell me about the fingering
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
