the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.