Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
