u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
