I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
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I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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