I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
where does the pee come out of this thing
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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