i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
