I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
