I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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