sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
