Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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