im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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