You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
