Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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