you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
