She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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