i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
