i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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