"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
