We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
