The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I cockslap morals
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
