Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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