singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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