I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize