pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
