I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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