Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
