Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
