called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
