Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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