I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
