Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
