I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
