My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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