I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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