A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
