Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
