There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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