i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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