I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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