if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i came on her dog
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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