And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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