i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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