She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
