Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
