The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize