I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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