I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
