I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
