i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
