what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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