Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
