belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
