omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
