My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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