i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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