And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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