do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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