my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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