she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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