you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
